Morning Martin

Well the jist is quite simple:-

Step One (The hook)

Select a well designed comfy chair (best disposed for its ability for one to tap ones foot in a rhythmic manner) place strategically in an area of the listening environment which will be conducive to allow another chair to place in close proximity to the 'hot seat' without being obvious in any manner.


Step Two (The indoctrination to the cult)

Suggest to potential purchaser that by using flat earth presentation style equipment such as produced by St Julian of Verker and Lord Iver of Tiefenbrun it (the equipment) will deliver a world class sonic extravagance that will cause silky juicing in the most ardent of asexuals and transport them to a place which guarantee's greater social standing not just within the audio community, but will raise their status to a level that Freemasons would envious of.

Remember

"You are nobody without a Naim"


Step Three (catching the bait)

By utilising musical passages of specifically chosen compositions which emphasis upbeat dynamic rhythmic patterns by 'favored' popular beat combo's of the time which include by not restricted to.:-

Yello the Race(kraukrock being especially favored by the underground movement of Salisbury)
Kraftwerk - Minimum/Maximum
Propellerheads On her majesty's secrete service
Nadia by Nitin Sawhney
New Order - Technique
White Stripes - Icky Thump
Dummy by Portishead
Massive attack

This is just a drop in the audio ocean of foot movement specialist tunes that are employed by the dark side.


Step Four (said the spider to the fly)

Let us go back to step two, for those of you not abreast of the situation, a second (attempted inconspicuously placed) chair is then used to insert dealer apprentice, who 'job' is to convince the poor suspecting (potential customer) that flat earth is the one true way by the simple use of specifically applied physiological mind control techniques.

Surely not?, I mean subliminal use of messages inside supermarket music has been widely accepted as a given these days?

The essence of the instructional bible (the letters' biblical Tune Dem mantra) is three fold:-

Part one

Is to place your (person conducting the demonstration) foot in zone where he/she can produce a rhythmic 'tap' on the base of said listening chair in 'time' to the music

Part Two

At the same time as part one, the person conducting the demonstration also using his hand to further enhance the 'tunefulness' of the music by tapping his fingers along the back of the listening char, further emphasizing the spectacular ability of the Salisbury / Glasgow based products to draw out the music.

Part Three

Salesman persuasively implies flat earth products produce   'magnificent musically engaging properties' whilst suggesting that 'leading edge' detail is the key to musical Nirvana (via many super caps one feels) and  that all other forms of audio reproduction (other manufacturers of audio equipment) are inferior in respect to their inability to maximize the musicality of passages being played. Whilst playing Yello's the 'race' at number 12 on the volume pot and having to raise his voice significantly to deliver home the above point on numerous occasions.

Customer is now in a state of utter disbelief at the sheer overwhelming onslaught of the sound being produced, totally mesmerized and now under a deep hypnotic trance, thus now susceptible to open wallet surgrey of the most vicious kind
.
FEI:- Flat Earth Indoctrination

Which will lead to the following symptoms over time
An obsessional cult like existence, night sweats,  paranoia, development of inferiority complexes, the constant need to check for upgrades, over zealous audio show attendances, does my high cap need recapping?, the need to join an ancient fellowship involving stone cutting techniques, but worse of all Tune Demitus is terminal, and can result in a total inability to appreciate music reproduced correctly for which there is no cure currently available.

You see Martin a cautionary tale that needs heeding.






  


   

The only stumbling block is that the LP12 would finish behind the Xerxes The Voyd and the Oracle on most of those tracks. I have tried them

It does play some things incredibly well IMO: the more sumptuous Sade tracks, Dire Straits, Under The Boardwalk by The Drifters and How Deep Is Your Love" by the Beegees. Oh, and of course Broken English by Marianne Faiftful and Tango In the Night by Fleetwood Mac, but then most decks do.

I'd pretty much guarantee these recordings would appear in virtually every Linn dealer dem I've witnessed. If I have a major sonic crib about the LP12, it tended to dictate your listening because it was very selective about what it played well.

There were oth things I disliked, such as the lop-sided suspension that you could only access from underneath, the crappy screw arrangement that held the armboard, the relatively poor pitch stability and the sensitivity to placement. I applaud their approach in continually refining the deck, but some of the fundamentals are so flawed, it's held the sound back IMO.

Based on the pushing one brand theory, just saw this and it made me laugh... no they don’t do they 

www.audiot.co.uk/userfiles/image/ERT%20Reading%20Store%20Review.pdf

There is one particular employee at that store who redefines the term 'sales prevention officer'

If it’s who I think you mean, you’re not wrong. He’s ignorant, arrogant, rude and unpleasant all rolled into one, I’m honestly amazed he’s ever sold anything. I’ve been into the store twice since I’ve lived in this area and will never return because of that challenging individual.

Their Saturday boy, as he liked to be known, on the other hand was quite a nice guy, but unfortunately, I understand he died recently.