Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2014 11:34:11 GMT
It seems to me that a new forum like this gives the chance to build a few bridges. It would be nice to think that old scores to settle, disagreements etc could be left behind and we could start again and try and keep it friendly.
Human nature appears to have other ideas but we could at least try.
I appear to have put my foot in it already today. I wanted to continue a thread in the same spirit as it had started but my comment was taken the wrong way, possibly by inappropriate use of a smiley but most likely because of a small disagreement elsewhere which I thought we had put behind us a long time ago. Certainly we had had perfectly amicable interaction in the meantime. So sorry Gerry, but you misread my intention. My apologies however.
Some will have noticed that I have already engaged here about some behaviour I found unacceptable. This was because of what occurred here and nothing to do with happenings elsewhere - believe that as you will.
Martin and co have started a great feeling forum here so please everyone, don't make their job any harder by resorting to rudeness, argument or just plain bloody mindedness. A forum is for discussion, not preaching or dictat. This is a hobby, entertainment and relaxation, I hope we can keep it like that.
|
|
hobnob
Rank: Soloist
Posts: 27 
|
Post by hobnob on Jul 13, 2014 11:53:59 GMT
I agree and I hope peace can break out  I would add that I find provocative behaviour which sets out to incite a response to be equally responsible for conflict. I do like the considered and proportionate moderation which should help keep things amicable. |
|
|
|
Post by ChrisB on Jul 13, 2014 11:56:34 GMT
Well said.
Brand new starts is what it is supposed to be about. That's why I've repeatedly asked people to leave old baggage at the door. Coming here to take a pop at someone because of an old grudge is not acceptable.
Let's try and be adults, eh?
|
|
|
|
Post by Dave on Jul 13, 2014 12:09:01 GMT
Wherever people gather in numbers, whether it be inside the virtual world of the internet or in actuality, relationships ebb and flow. I have had a few 'fallings out' with people on various forums in the time I've been on the net and with hindsight, if I'd treated these encounters in the same way as a face to face meeting they may well have ended up very differently. Life is far too short to hold onto grudges in my opinion. Having said that, one will occasionally come across an individual who is so abrasive it is impossible to engage with them. Thankfully forums have a button for such people, it's labelled 'Ignore'  |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2014 12:36:04 GMT
No grudges it purely as simple as that. However if someone has an axe to grind or chip on their shoulder they know where the doors is quick ways..
|
|
|
|
Post by Rexton on Jul 13, 2014 16:53:18 GMT
I try and not to get animated in discussion like I used to. I still see certain forum members doing exactly the same old stuff and not learning from there mistakes. It makes me laugh sometimes.
|
|
|
|
Post by John on Jul 13, 2014 17:02:45 GMT
We always knew it would difficult for the past not to be dragged into the forum, to a degree its human or least forum behaviour.
We really want to create interesting debate for everyone and a place that people enjoy coming to share experiences and knowledge.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Jul 13, 2014 19:42:17 GMT
Yeah,I'm up for all that. Peace n love dudes.
|
|
|
|
Post by MartinT on Jul 13, 2014 19:46:23 GMT
Thank you everyone in this thread. This is exactly the community spirit we're trying to achieve.
|
|
|
|
Post by MikeMusic on Jul 14, 2014 12:49:45 GMT
The Neutral Zone for all
We all have a lot to learn - me for sure
|
|
|
|
Post by danielquinn on Jul 14, 2014 13:01:23 GMT
For me this is simple - Comment on what people write only in each specific post and don't take it personally .
I am perfectly happy for some one to say I have written bollocks [ though the mods would like you not to use that word and just disagree with me ] if they explain themselves .
For example - if I posted a picture of my beautiful 7 month old baby boy and you said that photo depicts one ugly fat baby here is my beautiful slim baby . I would question the validity and point of advising me you considered my baby ugly [ he is fat ] and of comparing babies , but I wouldn't take it personally or get upset , sulk or throw my baby in the bin . Now substitute baby for , kettle lead, dj deck , belt drive warble , fandabby dosy interconnect and bobs your uncle .
Posts that upset or annoy you , often say more about the you than the poster .
I also have two tricks -
1. read the post ,decide what I think about it and then see who wrote it .
2. Ask , what was the poster purpose in posting . |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2014 13:08:36 GMT
Having said what I did at the start, I think we should all be aware that different folk have different sensitivities and misunderstandings are very easily provoked. My natural sense of humour has been described as acerbic which is probably not far from the truth. However, very rarely is it meant with anything other than good intent and I expect back as good as I get. I am always surprised that what I consider light hearted banter can be seen as personal attack when no such thing is intended. I have already been placed on someone's ignore list for this very reason which is a shame but I can't do much about it.
I suspect there will always be the danger of this happening.
However, I also reckon that intentional rudeness is very easy to spot. Even then, I could sometimes question that it was actually intentional, just that the poster is blissfully unaware of the nature of his/her affect on others - although its entirely possible that they just don't care. One of the main problems seems to be that said personages, if there were such, actually seem unconcerned because they are so sure that they are right and that there is no other way of doing things than theirs, that there is no point in trying to convince them to behave otherwise.
Most of us are, as Douglas Adams said "oh he's just this guy ya know" (masculine includes the feminine!!) and I don't think anyone should feel so important that their opinion is not up for question.
So, again, lets all keep it cool, treat others as we would wish to be treated and I'm sure we will all enjoy it here.
|
|
Paul
Rank: Trio
Posts: 157
|
Post by Paul on Jul 14, 2014 14:38:39 GMT
If your natural sense of humour is acerbic, then maybe there is no surprise you may piss some people off. As for already being on somebody's ignore list, why? ( or are you too traumatised to talk about it). |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2014 15:20:57 GMT
If your natural sense of humour is acerbic, then maybe there is no surprise you may piss some people off. As for already being on somebody's ignore list, why? ( or are you too traumatised to talk about it). Me, tough as old boots me. Trauma is for babies. The tale goes back a few years on AOS. I won't name names here. I, being me was making what I though a playful jab at people who kept swapping equipment. Basically as I a) couldn't afford to and b) had no reason to as I am still very happy with my Quads. That one comment seems to have cut so deep that it has never been forgotten. I thought it had passed under the bridge years ago and so felt no compuction in commenting in my usual hilarious fashion here. Clearly the other part does not agree. Thats life. Most people seem to see through me pretty quickly so hopefully, I won't be pissing off everybody.  |
|
|
|
Post by yomanze on Jul 14, 2014 15:44:41 GMT
A new beginning has a very important experience, which without it will just lead to the usual blocking, warnings and banning. It is the experience to understand that people have different views and experiences, and to respect them. As soon as words such as "nonsense" start flying around this is a personal insult, but think how the post's tone would change if we said "I disagree" instead. You can get an identical message across without resorting to words that can offend. A similar analogy is that after years of business I no longer wear piercings, and I used to have a lot, not because I bent over and compromised, but because I recognised that other people would judge me regardless and this could negatively impact my company. In my world these things should not matter and I should not yield, but it's not my world.
|
|
|
|
Post by MartinT on Jul 14, 2014 17:08:15 GMT
I truly believe that if everyone would leave their baggage by the door, we would all get on fine give or take.
You know what they say about enemies being just one step away from friends...
|
|
|
|
Post by Dave on Jul 14, 2014 17:09:35 GMT
If another member is taking an obvious pop at you, human nature being what it is, the natural inclination is to respond and defend yourself. Do your best to resist doing so if you can. The moderating team here have their beady eyes firmly sighted on the ball, so if you do feel you are being seriously wronged hit the 'report post' button. A text box is presented to you once you do so where you can present your case, and it is large enough to allow you to go into it in some detail. This is not 'telling tales', 'grassing' nor any other label you might want to hang on it, it is an essential tool which allows the moderation team to keep the forum ticking along in a friendly manner. You have the tools at your disposal so use them, don't lower yourself to the same level as your protagonist by getting your handbag out too... |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2014 17:12:44 GMT
I truly believe that if everyone would leave their baggage by the door, we would all get on fine give or take. You know what they say about enemies being just one step away from friends... Perhaps the reverse is true as well. Could happen |
|
|
|
Post by Tim on Jul 14, 2014 19:14:19 GMT
My natural sense of humour has been described as acerbic . . . Who said that?, let me at him the bounder . .  |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2014 19:18:07 GMT
My natural sense of humour has been described as acerbic . . . Who said that?, let me at him the bounder . . Phew, Hope the self flagellation isn't too painful  |
|
I would add that I find provocative behaviour which sets out to incite a response to be equally responsible for conflict. I do like the considered and proportionate moderation which should help keep things amicable.
