Post by ChrisB on Dec 19, 2014 13:47:56 GMT
I was going to send the usual type of goodwill message to everyone this year, but as I have recently had some dealings with members of the legal profession in the course of my work, I have learnt an important lesson: that it pays to be very careful what you say….especially in writing. So here is a seasonal message that is guaranteed not to offend anyone (except perhaps members of the legal profession).
From me (“the wishor”) to you (hereinafter known as “the wishee”)
Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter or summer solstice holiday (depending upon which hemisphere the wishee resides in), practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all….. and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the year which is generally accepted shall be known as 2015 but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:
- This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
- This greeting is freely transferrable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
- This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.
- This greeting may not be enforceable under certain local laws and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishes under certain local laws and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
- This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably can be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting whichever comes first.
- The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.
- Any reference in this greeting to “the Lord”, “Father Christmas”, “Our Saviour”, or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referred third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
Please print 2 copies of this document. Sign and date them in the presence of two independent witnesses and then return them to me for signing. I will return one copy for you & retain the other one for my records.
From me (“the wishor”) to you (hereinafter known as “the wishee”)
Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, celebration of the winter or summer solstice holiday (depending upon which hemisphere the wishee resides in), practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all….. and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the year which is generally accepted shall be known as 2015 but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:
- This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
- This greeting is freely transferrable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
- This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.
- This greeting may not be enforceable under certain local laws and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishes under certain local laws and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
- This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably can be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting whichever comes first.
- The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.
- Any reference in this greeting to “the Lord”, “Father Christmas”, “Our Saviour”, or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referred third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.
Please print 2 copies of this document. Sign and date them in the presence of two independent witnesses and then return them to me for signing. I will return one copy for you & retain the other one for my records.
