This track first appeared on the album, "Tigerlily" by Natalie Merchant, her first album after leaving 10,000 Maniacs and released in 1995.  She re-recorded the album in 2015 as "Paradise Is There: The New Tigerlily Recordings" in 2015 and this is the version that I am linking to here.

I find this to be totally captivating performance and illustrates her ability to deliver a complex discourse with great emotion.  I'll leave you to interpret its meaning...


open.qobuz.com/track/28035538

Lyrics.

I may know the word
But not say it
I may know the truth
But not face it

I may hear a sound
A whisper
Sacred and profound
But turn my head indifferent

I may know the word
But not say it
I may love the fruit
But not taste it

I may know the way
To comfort and
To soothe a worried face
But fold my hands indifferent

If I'm on my knees, I'm begging now
If I'm on my knees gropin' in the dark
I'd be praying for deliverance
From the night into the day

But it's all gray here
It's all gray here
But it's all gray to me

I may know the word
But not say it
This may be the time
But I might waste it

Though this may be the hour
Something move me
Someone, prove me wrong
Before night comes with indifference

If I'm on my knees, I'm begging now
If I'm on my knees gropin' in the dark
I'd be praying for deliverance
From the night into the day

If I'm on my knees, I'm begging now
If I'm on my knees gropin' in the dark
I'd be praying for deliverance
From the night into the day

But it's all gray here
It's all gray here
But it's all gray to me

I recognize the walls inside
I recognize them all
I've paced between them
Chasing demons down until they fall

In fitful sleep, enough to keep their strength
Enough to crawl into my head
With tangled threads, they riddle me to solve
Again and again and again

And again