Christmas Crackers

brettj
Rank: Big Band

Posts: 1,369

Christmas Crackers Dec 15, 2023 18:32:46 GMT MikeMusic likes this

Quote

Post by brettj on Dec 15, 2023 18:32:46 GMT

One of my tasks this Christmas is to find jokes for the Christmas crackers

Two of my favourites from last year:

This year I got some rice for Christmas. I think it was from Uncle Ben.

My dog used to chase people on a bike.
It got so bad I had to take his bike away.

Have any of you got any good ones for me this year?
Chairs!

petea Rank: Big Band Posts: 2,850	Christmas Crackers Dec 15, 2023 19:29:06 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by petea on Dec 15, 2023 19:29:06 GMT How about the winner from this year's competition? "Did you hear about the Christmas cake on display in the British Museum? It was Stollen."
	Pete

petea Rank: Big Band Posts: 2,850	Christmas Crackers Dec 15, 2023 19:30:34 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by petea on Dec 15, 2023 19:30:34 GMT www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/dec/05/british-museum-ends-terrible-year-as-punchline-in-christmas-cracker-joke
	Pete

Slinger Rank: Composer Posts: 25,470	Christmas Crackers Dec 15, 2023 19:42:05 GMT brettj and petea like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Slinger on Dec 15, 2023 19:42:05 GMT Q: What lays at the bottom of the ocean, shaking? A: A nervous wreck. Q: Why did the man go mad at Christmas? A: Someone told him there was no Sanity Clause.
	I didn't use to need the internet, my wife knew everything.

brettj Rank: Big Band Posts: 1,369	Christmas Crackers Dec 21, 2023 0:24:55 GMT via mobile MikeMusic, Slinger, and 1 more like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by brettj on Dec 21, 2023 0:24:55 GMT A good one from last year How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents…

MikeMusic
Global Moderator

Posts: 34,607

Christmas Crackers Dec 21, 2023 15:32:42 GMT Slinger, rfan8312, and 1 more like this

Quote

Post by MikeMusic on Dec 21, 2023 15:32:42 GMT

More music from better kit
Played last : Underworld -Tarwater -Mekons -Beatles -Jan Hammer -Steve Miller -Low - Jerry Goodman -Sonny Landreth -King Crimson -Beach Boys -Hybrid -Jazzanova -Rod Stewart -Dave Seaman -Geoffrey Richardson -Eric Burdon -Max Richter -James Lavelle -Boards of Canada -Gerry Rafferty -Level 42 -Voice of the Seven Woods -Manassas -The Rides -Bonnie Raitt -Mogwai -Viktor Krauss -Bajofondo -Bent -Chris Rea -Rick Springfield
TAD/Technics/Coherent

Slinger Rank: Composer Posts: 25,470	Christmas Crackers Dec 21, 2023 16:07:01 GMT MikeMusic likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Slinger on Dec 21, 2023 16:07:01 GMT That's what happens when you order baby cheeses over the phone, Mike.
	I didn't use to need the internet, my wife knew everything.

The Audio Standard

The Friendly Hi-Fi and Music Forum

The Audio Standard
Connecting People through Hi-Fi and Music

Post by brettj on Dec 15, 2023 18:32:46 GMT

Post by petea on Dec 15, 2023 19:29:06 GMT

Post by petea on Dec 15, 2023 19:30:34 GMT

Post by Slinger on Dec 15, 2023 19:42:05 GMT

Post by brettj on Dec 21, 2023 0:24:55 GMT

Post by MikeMusic on Dec 21, 2023 15:32:42 GMT

Post by Slinger on Dec 21, 2023 16:07:01 GMT