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Post by ChrisB on Dec 25, 2017 15:37:57 GMT
We don't have Christmas crackers, but I wonder who has got the worst and/or best one in theirs?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2017 15:55:38 GMT
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Post by ChrisB on Dec 25, 2017 17:35:04 GMT
OK then, how do you cook a Christmas pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
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Post by pinkie on Dec 25, 2017 17:57:05 GMT
What was Beethovens favourite fruit?
Ban Ann Ann are
(You need the rhythm )
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Post by Slinger on Dec 25, 2017 20:27:13 GMT
Q. What sort of cough sweets does Dracula take?
A. Con lozenges.
I kid you not. That's what it said.
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Post by ChrisB on Dec 25, 2017 20:30:40 GMT
Eh? I think I need that one explaining to me.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2017 20:42:55 GMT
Why did the Tomato blush?
Because it saw the Salad dressing
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Post by Greg on Dec 25, 2017 21:09:58 GMT
Why did the submarine blush?
Because it say Queen Elizabeth’s bottom.
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Post by pinkie on Dec 26, 2017 6:54:45 GMT
Q. What sort of cough sweets does Dracula take? A. Con lozenges. I kid you not. That's what it said. Very old stock. That typo was doing the rounds a few years ago. I think the consensus was it should be 'coffin lozenges" |
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Post by Slinger on Dec 26, 2017 12:57:00 GMT
Q. What sort of cough sweets does Dracula take? A. Con lozenges. I kid you not. That's what it said. Very old stock. That typo was doing the rounds a few years ago. I think the consensus was it should be 'coffin lozenges" They were bought the week before Christmas...this Christmas |
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Post by MartinT on Dec 26, 2017 22:03:25 GMT
Never let typos get in the way of a good joke!  |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2017 22:26:33 GMT
How do you hire a horse?
Stand it on four bricks.
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Post by julesd68 on Dec 26, 2017 22:31:54 GMT
What was Beethovens favourite fruit? Ban Ann Ann are (You need the rhythm ) What's Beethoven doing in his grave? Decomposing. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2017 22:43:40 GMT
When asking Mozart why he doesnt go to bed early, his reply was 'am-a-day-us' man
Ill get mi coat.
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Post by pinkie on Dec 27, 2017 7:08:25 GMT
How do you hire a horse? Stand it on four bricks. What sort of cheese do you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone!  |
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Post by ChrisB on Dec 27, 2017 7:15:41 GMT
Yes, I like that one, I've used it myself once or twice. Can't believe it comes from a cracker though. Much too good for that!
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Post by zippy on Dec 27, 2017 18:51:08 GMT
How do you get 4 elephants in a mini ? - 2 in the front, two in the back
How do you get 2 whales in a mini ? - up the M4
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Post by MartinT on Dec 27, 2017 19:40:33 GMT
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper.
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