Seriously dude?

Sorry, someone was going to do that so I thought I'd get it over with. 

I can see that some of you soft arses haven't worked on building sites.
Everybody's called mate, until they know your name.

Ahem...so has someone been upsetting you then, old chap?
Am I correct in assuming that you are no longer making those exceedingly good pies?

A mind of your own?  You greedy bugger.  You should know by now that there's only one mind, and everyone has to share it.  

E-bayers, tighter than duck arse on speed, women with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths, very classy.
Hooped earring's big enough for pygmy to jump through.
Hipsters who feel its cool to ride in packs of ten (Abreast) or more around Old Windsor' on Sunday mornings.
Standard club dogs, women who feel the need to clubbing (over 40) dressed as 16 year old's mutton / lamb syndrome here.
Telephone call center's where they are calling from an open plan office and you can hear 30 other operators all spewing the same drivel, OR in need a universal translation matrix to understand them.

Oh and Toyota Prius drivers should be made to have a gentleman waving a red flag in front of them at 3mph

Please note I have no objection to woman going clubbing at any point in their lives as long as they dress appropriately for the age, not very becoming seeing a 48 Y.O. in skirt which is just 1 inch longer than her VPL line tottering on 5 inch heels demonstrating they have missed out on the very latest technique for cellulite removal.

The biggest grind of my gears, handfuls of sand, boob jobs and plastic surgery for the sake of it (not reconstruction after accident or illness) Nothing worse than seeing a woman who's been ironed and stapled, filled and snake venom'd to an inch of her life. So she's has a smoothed out face, but with a matching turkey neck niceeeee. Nothing like a 65 Y.O. with a pair of pert landing platforms for drones and the rest of the body went south a decade ago. that (imho) looks far worse as it stands out like a like an audiophile at speed dating event.

Just grow disgracefully you feel much better for it.

Also I have nothing against cyclists who obey the highway code.

I had that just the other day.  Now the phone line itself was pretty clear but the support desk was being manned by someone who clearly thought they were speaking words, but not a single one that I could identify as English.

There is a long list Strat where to start:-

NOT jumping red lights, behaving like the own road, riding three abreast, doing the balancing act at red lights (those that do stop) because they only have a rear brake.

Over 50's that shave their legs and wear ultra tight spandex or Lycra if you have the physic fair enough, but please do not inflict on the rest of us.
Not wearing a helmet, if they do bother to have lights, they are usually 4 candle power due to the fact the batteries are flat.

Hanging out in hipster packs at Starbucks or other well know coffee houses pretending they have all just ridden a mountain stage in Pyrenees whilst trying to look cool in 1980's wrap around mirrored shades.

Riding down the wrong way for a short cut, sod the pedestrians.

Now I cycle around 25 miles a week, still preform my life saver before ever corner or before I wish to move out. Not difficult.

One other gripe school run mum's in Chelsea tractors  

I hate it when a couple of my friends call around when there drunk knowing i'm on the wagon ,sorry I meant x friends I ran them off, I don't need friends like that

Yep, makes me want to ask "are you unable to speak properly?"