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Post by Slinger on Jul 3, 2014 8:54:33 GMT
I'm sure we've all seen them. For example, I'm currently checking out wireless guitar systems, and found this wonderfully descriptive phrase in the middle of the technical description of one such unit... Oh yeah! Flounce that bondage baby.  |
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Post by MikeMusic on Jul 3, 2014 9:03:34 GMT
Not sure I know what to say.
I wonder if the drugs need changing
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Post by Deleted on Jul 3, 2014 9:32:37 GMT
flounce that bondage..mmmmmm
tell us more about the wireless guitar..I sold a variax 500 a couple of years ago and now I really really really wish I hadn't. If you're looking in that direction then I can totally recommend it, awesome!.
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Post by MartinT on Jul 3, 2014 16:55:39 GMT
I once had a C-Itoh printer service manual that contained the most hilarious Japlish I ever saw, including a reference to the printer as an "artificial mammoth creature".
Here's an excerpt from another C-Itoh manual on the net:
"Preface
The excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT MATRIX
LINE PRINTER, built in two MICROPROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is featured by
permitting wonderful coexistence such as; 'high quality against low cost',
'diversified functions with compact design', 'flexibility in accessibleness
and durability of approx. 2000,000,000 Dot/Head', 'being sophisticated in
mechanism but possibly agile operating under noises being suppressed' etc.
And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help achieve
'super shuttle diplomacy' between cool data, perhaps earned by HOST computer,
and warm heart of human being."
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Post by MikeMusic on Jul 4, 2014 12:38:59 GMT
Perfect Japlish  |
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Post by Slinger on Jul 17, 2014 18:37:34 GMT
I love this one, from eBay... Why on earth would I need a tuner if the guitar's already tuned? The ad concludes... I am selling an acoustic guitar which is already tuned, it comes with a tuner, pluck, extra strings and case for guitar ..and it's listed as "Seller Refurbished" which I presumably means "I've tuned it." Yours for the princely sum of £91.00. I think I'll pass.  |
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Post by Slinger on Mar 14, 2019 16:29:39 GMT
And today's award for thread resurrection goes to... I've just come across this on eBay, and decided to share. People often buy a new tablet, and then wonder why it's nowhere near as good as they were expecting. This is why - they don't read the whole description.
This, I hasten to add, comes from an ad that purports to be from a UK vendor. They're not.
First, the "main" headline description.10.1'' 4G+64GB Android 7.0 Tablet PC HD 2.5D bluetooth Octa 8 Core WIFI 2 SIM 4G. Price - £49.99 (?)...and some "edited" highlights from the "Item specifics"Camera: Front 5MP Rear 13MP Screen resolution: 2560*1600 WIFI: Wireless WIFI Bluetooth version: 4.0 Worries start to creep in when you read... Brand: Unbranded Model: Acer Aspire Switch Yes, it is, and no, it ain't.then further on Resolution: 1028 x 800 - but they already said it was 2560*1600, didn't they?
Let's carry on, even though alarm bells are now sounding big-time...Manufacturer warranty: 1 month Country/Region of Manufacture: Unknown Shell Material: Full Metal Shell Now the actual text description, from, don't forget, someone who apparently wants to sell you one or more of these. There's actually a discount for buying more than one.
The WiFi can only be used in the 10m range. If it is unstable, please try several times. You must use our original charger (Do not use a cell phone charger) ，otherwise it will not work. The product camera system is backward and the update cost is high. It is not recommended to be used as a high-definition camera. (So, about this "Camera: Front 5MP Rear 13MP" thing..?) Note: The Shell Material looks like plastic but actually thin metal. It can be tested with a magnet. Its temperature is lower than that of the surrounding plastic. The Heat dissipation effect will be better 2.5D High-end touch screen ( WTF?) Audio format: support MP3, WMA, APE, FLAC, OGG, WAV and so on Video format: support 3gp, AVI, MP4, MKV, F4V and so on Image format: support JPEG, PNG, BMP, GIF and so on Life: 3-4 hours of life, music 10 hours Note: - The product can not play those advanced games. Although it was a tough decision I didn't buy one in the end, but according to the eBay listing 56 other people have. |
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Post by MikeMusic on Mar 14, 2019 16:36:14 GMT
Loads of lovely relative truth |
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Post by MartinT on Mar 14, 2019 19:56:31 GMT
I wonder how bad a "backward camera system" is?
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Post by ChrisB on Mar 15, 2019 0:44:15 GMT
Top notch research there Slinger. I think I can see how you are able to resist the temptation to stump up the lolly there.
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Post by Slinger on Mar 15, 2019 14:20:02 GMT
I should probably add that this was only one out of a number of tablets for sale using the same pictures, but without the "honest" text. Basically, the vendors are just making stuff up, at best, deliberately lying at worst.
Always read the full description. Always check the vendor's feedback for a pattern of complaints.
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Post by pre65 on Mar 16, 2019 12:06:43 GMT
I've also been looking at tablets on Ebay, did you find a suitable one in the end ?
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Post by Slinger on Mar 16, 2019 14:19:15 GMT
I've also been looking at tablets on Ebay, did you find a suitable one in the end ? I've literally just hit "buy now" on a Huawei Mediapad T3 8" tablet, with Android 7.0 before logging in here. It was a "New Other" listing at eBay and cost me £75.00 inc p&p. I really only wanted a tablet I can use to "centralise" my Alexa devices and their associated software, so no need for huge screens or lightning-fast HD games-playing abilities. I've got a PC for that. |
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Post by pre65 on Mar 16, 2019 14:27:54 GMT
Is that the one with the built in "spy chip" ?
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Post by Slinger on Mar 16, 2019 14:39:30 GMT
Is that the one with the built in "spy chip" ?
The very same.  Trust me, at my age, living alone, they're welcome to whatever secrets of mine they can winkle out of me. Perhaps it'll end up carrying on a conversation with Alexa when I think they're both idle. |
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