|
|
Post by MikeMusic on Mar 1, 2018 20:30:11 GMT
*I* knew The boss knows it is a big car so therefore it can only be RWD You must remember the Rules 1. The boss is always right 2. If in doubt see Rule 1  |
|
|
|
Post by Slinger on Mar 1, 2018 22:01:43 GMT
As if the snow wasn't bad enough on its own...  |
|
|
|
Post by rfan8312 on Mar 2, 2018 2:28:49 GMT
I Recently had a colonoscopy and had to take the day off work. Boss was asking me how it went.
I was telling him how easy it was. One minute the doctors was talking about the olympics next thing I knew I was waking up, didn't even know I passed out.
Turns out the doctor's next door neighbors kid is on the American Olympic hockey team and this doctor likes to brag about it.
So I was explaining that to the boss but he wasn't impressed.
"Ye meanwhile he's playing butt-hockey with you".
Something about the way he said it, in his dry grumpy old guy eating an apple kind of way had me losing my shit, so to speak.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2018 10:56:27 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Slinger on Mar 2, 2018 12:44:00 GMT
" Today Tiefenbrun’s company still supplies the best turntables in the world for celebs and stars." I think that might be open for debate. |
|
|
|
Post by Slinger on Mar 2, 2018 12:51:06 GMT
I know footballers are pampered but there's a story on the BBC (sourced from Marca) which says Barcelona airport cannot be expanded because aeroplanes are not allowed to fly over Lionel Messi's house.
Airline bosses were hoping to add more runways in order to allow extra movement in and out of the city but Javier Sanchez-Prieto, president of a budget Spanish airline, says the proposed expansion can’t happen “because you cannot pass over where Messi lives.”
The agitated president added: “This doesn’t happen anywhere else in the world.”
The area of Castelldefels where Messi and other Barca stars live, on the outskirts of Barcelona, has an environmental restriction over it.
|
|
|
|
Post by MikeMusic on Mar 2, 2018 16:44:38 GMT
Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Liquid Tippex.
I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ And then I saw her face......
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of Swan Vesta matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk...
Unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage
I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards.
All I said was, 'Hurry up for Christ's sake ........... Some of us have got homes to go to!'
Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready!
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen,
'What do you feel like for dinner my love ......Chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'Chicken, please.' She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'
|
|
|
|
Post by ChrisB on Mar 2, 2018 17:29:59 GMT
A man bought a Labrador from someone in a pub for £100.
After a few days, the dog got sick and died, so he went back to the pub to ask the seller for his money back.
"Sorry", said the seller, "but it's not my fault it died".
He replied, "OK, fair enough, I'll raffle it then" and went home, leaving the seller rather confused.
A week later in the pub, the man was buying a pint and the previous owner of the dog asked, laughing: "How did the dog raffle go?"
"I made £898 from that Labrador".
"How on earth did you manage that?!"
"Well...it's very simple - I bought it from you for a hundred quid, and then I sold 500 raffle tickets at two pounds each".
"Ha, I thought you were joking. That's amazing. But hang on a minute, wasn't anyone angry that the dog was dead?"
"Just the guy that won. I told him it wasn't my fault the dog had died but as a gesture of good will, I would him his money back".
|
|
|
|
Post by Slinger on Mar 7, 2018 22:45:48 GMT
't Yorkshire 'Aka
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2018 11:15:36 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by MikeMusic on Mar 8, 2018 15:49:03 GMT
Much appreciated Paul !
I'm half Yorkshire
Tony
That say "expired"
Is there another way to see it ?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2018 16:25:29 GMT
Hi Mike It does load up for me oddly! Try this |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2018 17:40:41 GMT
The new link doesn’t appear to work either, Tony  |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2018 17:44:21 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by MartinT on Mar 10, 2018 9:18:16 GMT
Nope!
|
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Mar 10, 2018 9:23:46 GMT
Might be better in frequent flyers but Lord this is funny
|
|
|
|
Post by MikeMusic on Mar 10, 2018 11:26:48 GMT
What a classic.
Look out bullys
|
|
|
|
Post by MartinT on Mar 10, 2018 11:53:30 GMT
Poor woman, though, being used like that.
|
|
|
|
Post by MikeMusic on Mar 10, 2018 12:00:30 GMT
Poor woman, though, being used like that. Not one I'd go for. Classic line though I've had your mum. Wonder what parents of bullies are like ? |
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Mar 10, 2018 12:09:14 GMT
Well that parents been a roaster that's for sure!
Poor woman nowt
|
|
