Post by MartinT on Feb 15, 2019 12:54:02 GMT
Business Process Re-engineering (BPR)
We're going to come in and deeply analyse your company's staff and processes for at least two hours. We'll set up 'key stakeholders' consisting of staff who were not much use anyway but can be spared to sit on the project for up to six months. We'll then recommend redundancies especially targeted at the key single point of skill staff around the organisation. Then we'll reorganise what's left and change the names of every department. We'll generate several impenetrable but cool looking charts of how the processes will now look, leaving out the fact that they'll no longer work due to the redundancies made as above. We'll present to the board a minimum of 250 slides mostly consisting of ones used in the previous project but with the words and colours changed. Finally, we'll charge you a minimum of £2M, promise to oversee the implementation phase, wish you luck and then run away never to be seen again.
Next euphemism please!
We're going to come in and deeply analyse your company's staff and processes for at least two hours. We'll set up 'key stakeholders' consisting of staff who were not much use anyway but can be spared to sit on the project for up to six months. We'll then recommend redundancies especially targeted at the key single point of skill staff around the organisation. Then we'll reorganise what's left and change the names of every department. We'll generate several impenetrable but cool looking charts of how the processes will now look, leaving out the fact that they'll no longer work due to the redundancies made as above. We'll present to the board a minimum of 250 slides mostly consisting of ones used in the previous project but with the words and colours changed. Finally, we'll charge you a minimum of £2M, promise to oversee the implementation phase, wish you luck and then run away never to be seen again.
Next euphemism please!
