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Post by MartinT on Apr 20, 2019 20:11:54 GMT
That's one way of going out!
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Post by julesd68 on Apr 20, 2019 20:20:22 GMT
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.
Judge says, ‘First offender?’
She says,
‘No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 22, 2019 6:25:33 GMT
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 22, 2019 10:09:57 GMT
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 23, 2019 7:22:33 GMT
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 23, 2019 20:33:48 GMT
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Post by MikeMusic on Apr 24, 2019 9:20:43 GMT
Tech Support :
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five dots.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first email. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
Customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list In the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
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Post by MartinT on Apr 24, 2019 9:37:48 GMT
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Post by Slinger on Apr 24, 2019 12:14:17 GMT
The one I always liked was: User - Hello, helpdesk?Help - Yes, this is the helpdesk. How can we help you. User - Somebody sent me a CD to put in my computer and I don't know how to do that.Help - You should have a drawer, on the front of your computer. User - A drawer?Help - Yes, a drawer. There should be a little button underneath it to make it pop out. User - You mean the cup holder?Help - ...
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Post by MartinT on Apr 24, 2019 12:54:45 GMT
Must have been the same person who was looking for the 'Any Key'.
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 24, 2019 19:25:53 GMT
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 26, 2019 20:56:02 GMT
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 26, 2019 21:03:15 GMT
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 26, 2019 21:08:03 GMT
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Post by ChrisB on Apr 26, 2019 22:46:11 GMT
...or at least, that's what we think.
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 29, 2019 18:21:33 GMT
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Post by Slinger on Apr 29, 2019 18:35:06 GMT
I live in constant fear of that happening, Jerry.
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 29, 2019 20:23:39 GMT
The time WILL come!!
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Post by jandl100 on Apr 29, 2019 20:23:59 GMT
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Post by MikeMusic on May 1, 2019 9:53:35 GMT
From another place
I can remember a friend of mine who is a serving policeman coming round to my home a couple of years ago and he laughed his socks off when I asked if there was much chance of my Hifi being burgled. He simply said, no self respecting burglar would even look at it or even know how to switch it on.
(PFM)
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